Missing Beauty

I think that we long for things that move the soul.

A soul that is moved is beautiful.

Things that move the soul are beautiful.

And the process by which a soul is moved by the things that move it is nothing short of artistry.

But alas, the soul is a hard thing to move, for a host of reasons.

For one, the soul most often has been wounded. Sometimes the wounds are fresh, and the soul has securely fashioned a hard protective cast to prevent further damage. Other times the wounds are so old that the callouses covering them appear to be indistinguishable from the soul itself. All of this to say: a soul, wounded freshly or not, is a hard thing to penetrate--cast or callous. And unless a soul is penetrated, it cannot be moved.

For another, the soul has been wooed by a host of lovers proven false. These lovers have so often and so easily romanced the soul, masquerading as genuine movers... but resulting only in dissatisfaction and even woundedness. These lovers have left the soul either a whore for being cheaply romanced, or a skeptic for being oft jilted. The whorish soul will have trouble remembering what it was like to be truly moved, and the jilted soul will be skeptical of anything resembling a claim of being moved.

And oh, how difficult it is to move a wounded, whorish, or jilted soul. To truly move it.

But oh, how beautiful it is when a wounded, whorish, or jilted soul is moved. Truly moved.

And how many of those who take up seats in our worship services habor within them these wounded, whorish, or jilted souls? I would venture to say the number would be a rather high percentage. Actually, I would do more than venture. I would claim.

So, knowing this--that most of our "worshippers" are in dire need of being moved so that the quotations can be taken off of that word--I wonder: do we as pastors dedicate ourselves to the artistry of moving souls which seem almost impossible to move? Or, do we punt, and settle for something less? OR, God forbid, do we add to the soul's woundedness, encourage the soul's whoremongering, and/or bolster the soul's skepticism?

It's hard work moving the soul. Maybe better put: it's hard to dedicate one's self to the difficult, messy, hard-to-measure work of moving the soul of another. Wounded souls don't seem to seek out our help; whorish souls seem to gobble up our aid at a frantic pace without any signs of lasting change; jilted souls knowingly chuckle at the life preserver we tossed them, all the while denying the fact that they are indeed drowning.

We need to approach these souls with a sense of artistry. We must become wise in the ways of the soul and how it's moved despite its many impurities, its barriers, and its appetites.

And, most likely, that journey starts with gazing at the souls within us.

I wonder how many of us will find wounded souls. Lord knows how many wounds a pastor's soul suffers over the course of a week, a day, an hour... and sometimes over the course of just a few minutes. Lord knows how many callouses cover a pastor's heart, if only for the purpose of sheer survival.

I wonder how many of us will find whorish souls. Perhaps in our quest for vision and clarity, we have romanced our own souls with lovers proven false. Maybe we are afraid of what we will see if we cut our lovers off. Maybe we're afraid of how little purity might be left. Maybe we're afraid that the lovers we so desperately want to believe are true are actually false.

I wonder how many of us will find jilted souls. How many strategies for successful life and ministry have fallen painfully short? How many new ideas have petered out to insignificance? How many phrases have been used so often that they have long since lost their meaning and power? How many days, months, or years has it been since the soul has truly "felt its worth?"

It is amazing how many demands of the job of a pastor call the pastor away from the journey within, convincing him that the journey within is wholly distinct from the journey together. I can not forsake the one for the other--either the former for the latter, or the latter for the former.

Action points will be coming shortly. I am too tired at this point to think clearly any longer.